marianne's musings

Friday, September 15, 2006

rushing to wait

things had been moving along...so i began trying to accomplish all the things i need to do before i move to australia, including visiting some people. but this monday i was told, due to australian government cutbacks, my visa will take 6-8 weeks to process....and my application hasn't even been completely submitted yet. as frustrated as i am, my boss kimberly is even more frustrated. but i am choosing to look at the positive side...i will have a bit more time to get things done, spend time with my family...knowing god has a reason for the delay. i've been patient this long...what's a few weeks more.

these last few weeks have been filled with so much activity. i went to a colts pre-season game (a bit of a snooze...but watching on tv the colts beat the giants last sunday night made up for it), kelly and i helped grant with another turkey banquet, i have cheered on emma and sarah at their soccer games, gone along on mom and sarah's field trip to a cincinnati reds game, up to the lake on labor day weekend with just my parents and me, went to the blueberry festival in plymouth, down to kentucky to visit with emily, eric, shauna, neil, and jenny, then up to michigan to visit kristine, david, alan, norma, david and deborah (the johnstons are over to canada for norma's brother's wedding, and came down for a visit), tonight mom and i are doing the indianapolis irish fest 5k, tomorrow we are doing a sale in the church parking lot for missions, and in the midst of all this i have also been sorting, packing, storing, sewing a quilt, reading books about australia, and working on a few other projects.

people ask me if i am scared or nervous or anxious about moving so far away....i'm not...well, a little anxious excited, but not anxious frightened. the other week i shared something with my mom that i had not shared with anyone before. my last spring on campus at seminary (spring 05), when my search for the next step/a job was just going to begin, i had this stupid class. i say stupid class because, for the most part, it was a waste of time. but there were two good things about it. one, i could see my youth ministry and christian education friends once a week...we were all so busy by this point. and two, god gave me peace through a repetitive class exercise. this class met once a week, and to start every class our professor had us stand and say the 139 psalm in unison. this is the psalm that talks about god knowing each of us so completely, and that he will be with us everywhere...the part that jumped out at me every time we did this exercise was the line that says..."if i settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." at first, i just thought it was coming from me...like me wanting to go back to northern ireland...but i now know it was god giving me peace....from the moment i first heard about this position to the moment they offered me the job to this very moment, i am not afraid. i know god has prepared me and will be with me every step of the way. i know god will be with my family and friends. i am about to settle on the far side of the sea and god is guiding me.

psalm 139

O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you percieve my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in--behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do not I hate those who hate you, O Lord, and abhor those who rise up against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

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