marianne's musings

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

i am here

Thursday, April 27, 2006

do you ever feel overwhelmed by the world and what goes on everyday...war, greed, sickness, sadness...i do. sometimes i just want to scream and make everything ok for everyone....give food to the hungry, make safe the children who walk through the night, stop the greed and power-hungry push. i cannot make all the change in the world....but we can make a difference....each one of us...in our own way. i have been waiting...sometimes patiently, sometimes not...for wherever god is going to take me next, but i think sometimes i forget that i am here now...here in kokomo, here at my parents' house, here in my hometown, here in my home church, here with my family and old friends. what am i doing to make a difference while i am here, rather that thinking about what i will do some place and time in the future...what am i doing right here, right now? for a while i was hiding away. now slowly, i have emerged. i have been spending time with old friends, who are like family... maybe there is a reason we are reconnected in a more day-to-day way. time spent with my family can be so challenging, but i do love them so much. and then there is always my never ending battle for health...both physical and emotional. i have always struggled with my weight, ever since i was a child. it is a part of who i am, and through it all i have always desired to be healthy...i love activity...i love sports...i love exercise. there have been times when i have been more healthy, the most notable was the summer of 2001/beginning of my experience in the northern ireland. i had dropped a lot of weight and was beginning to be in great shape....but that was then and here i am now.... so i am out of hibernation....once again i am attempting a healthier life...and i am a mad woman on the treadmill. i love being outside, but the treadmill allows me to pace myself much faster. and my sister just returned my bike that she borrowed...can't wait to ride and ride...as i once did in my childhood when i practically lived on my bike or like my days spent riding along the ocean in california. i do wish i could be swimming, but i am living in the now...so not at the minute. but for me, there is just something about being in the water...moving through god's creation with his warmth all around me and i am weightless, speachless, drifting in anther world, one of beauty and peace. so this is me, now, trying to live the life i have ....trying to make a difference in my life and the lives around me and looking for opportunities to make change in the world...who knows where i will be tomorrow.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home