marianne's musings

Thursday, June 22, 2006

music festivals, tree tunnels, and muck up to my eyeballs!

these last two weeks have been a bit mad. beginning with a crazy two-day interview that was more intense than i ever dreamed. while interviewing at huntington university, i had meetings with a variety of people, from the president to some students and everyone imaginable inbetween. it was definitely a bit overwhelming. i'm still processing and trying to listen to god to know if the position would be a good fit for me and me for them. in the meantime, i am once again being considered for the job in australia....what i thought was dead in the water, is now alive and well. they finally have the position approved and i am in the top two or three. along with these two possibilities is the position in savannah with urban hope and the position in indianapolis at st. luke's. not sure what is happening with those two at the minute, but happy enough to be preoccupied with huntington and australia. my head has been spinning in the last two weeks...and my heart is ready to go...ready to be a part of a new community...i'll let you know where that community will be.

tree tunnels...yes, trees that line the road and create a bit of a tunnel. i had missed the beautiful tree tunnels i once passed through on my way from wilmore to frankfort, on the back roads of kentucky. tuesday morning i was reminded once again of kentucky's beauty. my friends shauna and neil invited me down to ichthus (a big christian music festival) to help out. i have to admit, musically speaking, i would have rather been at bonnaroo (music festival in tennessee) listening to music i love...radiohead, beck, my morning jacket, elvis costello, ben folds, bonnie raitt, blues traveler, cat power, nickel creek, death cab for cutie, tom petty, and many more...but there is something to be said for a huge christian music festival, where young people are celebrated and encouraged in their faith. and being at ichthus is also a mini reunion for me with friends from college, seminary and the young people from frankfort. so i did not mind doing two nine-hour shifts of stage security over the course of two was a welcome break in thinking too much about my job possibilities and choices i will soon have to make. also, i love spending time with my friends shauna and neil, in a home where they welcome so many in and love it...during the weekend there were six guests (including myself), as well as, neil's sister jennifer, who lives with nine people, three dogs, and two cats :)

now you might wonder how muck up to my eyeballs fits into the events of the last two weeks, and you might also think that i was speaking, i am speaking literally...with a bit of exaggeration. yesterday afternoon/evening, i spent a few hours up to my knees, sometimes a bit higher, in muck at the bottom of the lake. dad needed some help putting in more of the pier. knowing that he needed to leave directly from the lake to deliver an rv to california (in retirement, his latest job is to deliver/drive rv's all over the us), i volunteered to get in the water. you all know how much i love water, but i knew full well, this was not for play...for those of you who have been up to the cottage...i was in the section where water was up to my chest and muck was up to my knees...where we do not swim. anyway, after a few hours of me putting poles into the lake and attaching braces, we were finished for now, having added another section of the pier....with more to come. so i might be back in the muck again to help out. after the renters this week, my family has the cottage for our week....we always have it around the 4th of july and usually my cousin kristin and her husband and their three girls come up for a visit. this year is different...all three of my cousins on my dad's side will be coming with their children (not all the spouses can make it). we will be celebrating my grandmother's 90th birthday and then spending time at the lake together. this will be the first time that all of the cousins have been together in indiana since i was a kid. i am looking forward to it, but also knowing it will be a bit crazy too...please pray ;)

have a wonderful weekend!

Monday, June 12, 2006


went to mass with my sister yesterday appropriate for me that it was the sunday of the trinity. the priest related the mystery of the trinity with the mystery of life, specifically the life of the first mexican saint, phillip of jesus (or something like that)...his life did not go according to plan and he might not have understood it...he went to a franciscan order/seminary for a year, then left to follow after his dad in business and went somewhere in south america to pursue it, then after a few years he joined an order there, then when he was sailing home to become a priest, his ship got caught up in bad weather, and they ended up in japan, where he was crucified for his christian faith...and eventually became an official saint. his life did not go according to plan. then we were lead in a song...the congregation repeating the line....may your mercy be with us as we place our trust in you (or something like that)...which reminded me of romans 15:13, one of my favorite verses..."may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." in that moment god reminded me that i must continue to trust in him, even when i have no clue what he is doing with my life at the moment.

oh, and i had a good time with grant and kelly. we painted their newly repaired porch and i sprinkled milky spore stuff all over their lawn to get rid of the slugs...or maybe it is not slugs...well then some other pesky critter that is keeping their grass from looking lovely. anyway, then we went to germanfest with grant's parents...nothing like sitting at a crowded table, filled with people eating sauerkraut and bratwurst, drinking beer, talking, and watching folk dancers. i enjoyed watching all the people. too bad they only had a big sign up in support of the world cup, rather than a big screen with some of the action.

i love that america, to me, is a celebration of people and cultures from all over the world...

Thursday, June 08, 2006

all the action

can i just say it is a great week in sports...i am loving catching bits of the french open (tennis) and the world cup (football/soccer) starts tomorrow! i hope andrew and his two groups have a great time in germany! and speaking of germany, i'm headed up to kelly and grant's (my sister and brother-in-law) for the weekend, and i think we might head to fort wayne's germanfest tomorrow night. today, i took my nieces to see over the hedge, which they enjoyed. i still want to take them to a drive-in theater to see a movie! hope you all have a great weekend!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

a little more clarity, a little less hormones

ok, so yesterday...i would have to say that i was a bit influenced by hormones when i went off on my synical i am a bit more clear and a little less hormonal. i still do not have all the answers, but i am a little less irritated.

some of you may know that i have been spending a bit of my free time making things. i was on a knitting - baby blanket kick, then a weaving - change purse kick, now i am making my first side will be bits of old t-shirts and things i have saved since i was a wee girl and the other side will be a bit more traditional quilt (or as traditional as i go). i have been wanting to do this for years, but never had the time. so for the last two days i have been a quilting maniac. actually, more of a pinning maniac. i decided to pin the shirts together to see how big the quilt is going to's a big one!

mom and dad are off in the rv for a week in north carolina....which means i get a bit of a holiday too. actually, it will leave me space to prepare for some more interviewing with the people in savannah and my two-day interview in huntington next week. and then shauna and neil are trying to convince me to come down to ichthus(next weekend) and do a bit of stage security with them. i am considering it, if it works into the interviewing schedule. it would be fun to see the young people from frankfort and some of my seminary and college friends. ok, that's me.

hope you have a great day!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

waiting, waiting, waiting

i must admit....waiting is difficult. it's not like waiting in a long line for a ride at an amusement park, or waiting on a letter to arrive, or waiting on a friend who is late, or waiting for a movie to begin....i am waiting on the next step, phase, adventure in life....while trying to continue living. i have been in this state of limbo for almost a year now. though this time last year, i was not focused on it because i had a summer filled with activity (northern ireland, research/project, kelly and grant's wedding, kristine and david's wedding, etc.). now i am , i can't help but be focused on the fact that i have not yet found a job, a place to live, a place to belong in and serve. sometimes i feel so frustrated i want to scream, yet i remain confident god has a place for me. it has been strange...i still live in boxes, i never know how much to connect with or engage in, and i struggle with how to answer peoples' questions. if i do not know the answers myself, and have no idea what god is up to, then how could i possibly know how to answer the many questions i am asked...what type of job are you looking for? where do you want to live? what is a master's degree in youth ministry? what is a bachelor's degree in media communications? how does media and art go together with youth ministry? why don't you just work in a church? maybe god is trying to teach you a lesson or help you sort through there something you need closure in? is there something you haven't dealt with? is there something unfinished? why have you lived in so many places and done so many odd things? how does it all fit together? oh, we have a position open at our church, why don't you come work here? are you opposed to working in a church ("no"), then why don't you work in my church? why did you go back to school? are you married? why not? do you have kids? you sound young...why haven't you done this before? why have you done that? are you looking here? have you done that? why don't you just do this (insert brilliant idea)?

i know i sound incredibly synical and ungreatful. and no matter how much i try to convince you, you might not think i am sincere when i say that i am truly thankful for everyone in my life and the support they give me. i am thankful, and i know that people are just trying to help. but other than prayer, there is not much that others can do...really, it is me and god. he has got a reason, a plan, a purpose...i just cannot see it completely is up to god to reveal it all when he wants, when the time is right. and i am done trying to figure out what it is, define it, and describe it to others. we will all know when it happens.

there have been times when i thought...this is it, ok, i'm ready...only to discover that i was wrong, completely wrong. part of me would love to be in a new far off place, serving god in an unconventional why. another part of me (i know you may not believe it) would like to live somewhere in indiana or near by so that i could enjoy the wonderful moments with my watching my niece emma fall asleep in my arms as i rock her in a porch swing. her newly celebrated, seven-year-old self warn out from the swimming, silly string fighting, trampoline jumping, volleyball playing, gift opening, cake eating, pinata hitting, bike riding, and general running around.

i have now been in the interview process for two different positions for over a month, and a third for a few weeks. this current spurt of interviews has followed a series of ups and downs in applications, interviews, and rejections (some on their part, some on mine). do i know positively if one of these positions is the am just trying to remain open and positive...knowing god has something out there for me. in the mean time, i am trying to be healthier in life again...spending time with god, reading, eating healthier, exercising, spending time with friends and family (in person and on the phone), and enjoying the life i have right now. i hope i did not offend too many people...really i am thankful for all the wonderful people in my life, and their attempts at trying to make me feel better.

so enough of my synical tirade....i am off to enjoy this beautiful day that god has created. i hope you enjoy it too.

Friday, June 02, 2006


my neice emma is turning seven...i can't believe it! she is so full of energy and life! it is hard to believe that when she was born she had to have heart surgery, and that she might have to have another surgery in the future (this year she went from 18% blocked to 30%...they operate when it is 50%). i am excited to celebrate her birthday, with the rest of my family, on sunday. and once again, i will be...aunt marianne, the pool toy! but i love it! and sarah, my other niece, turns twelve in august...yes, that's right, one more year until she is officially a teenager. now that's got to make some of us feel really old. to all of my high school and college friends....can you remember when she was a wee baby, just born my sophmore year at asbury? i love being an aunt to emma, sarah, and nathan...i look forward to when kelly and grant have children.

hope you all have a great weekend!